Let’s set the scene: You’re at a horse show. The sun is shining, hooves are polished, and there’s that electric mix of nerves and excitement in the air. But then… someone does something “not quite by the book.” Maybe their headgear isn’t right. Maybe their tack is slightly wrong. Maybe their horse is… a little extra today.
And suddenly, someone’s rushing to tell the steward or management.
Look, bestie—we’re not saying rules don’t matter (they absolutely do! If you know me, you know I’m a rule girl!). Safety, fairness, and good horsemanship are non-negotiable. But there’s also a difference between upholding the rules and turning every minor moment into barn aisle drama.
Let’s talk about the balance—and why a little bit of grace, empathy, and chill goes a long way.
First, Yes—Rules Exist for a Reason
We’re horse people. We get structure. We thrive on knowing what tack is allowed, how many seconds before entering the dressage court, and when to be at the in-gate. Rules keep horses and riders safe. They keep classes fair. And they help organizers manage the chaos.
But not every “rule slip” is a federal crime. Sometimes it’s a newbie still learning. Sometimes it’s someone so nervous they forgot to take off their boots. Sometimes, it’s just not your business.
If it’s not dangerous or putting others at risk… ask yourself:
Do I need to be the one saying something? Or can I just let them have their moment?
Let People Enjoy Their Horses
Not every person at a show is chasing a blue ribbon. Some are showing for the first time in years. Some are riding a horse they’ve worked years to rehab. Some are doing their best just to get into the ring without melting down (emotionally or physically. Let’s be honest, both happen!).
We never know what someone else had to overcome to show up. So let’s give people the space to enjoy it.
That nervous teen in the warm-up?
The adult ammy trotting around in Western tack at a mostly-English schooling show?
The senior horse having one last go in the ring?
Cheer them on. Smile. Offer a kind word. That moment might mean everything to them.
When to Speak Up and When to Take a Breath
Let’s be clear: if you see something unsafe, unsportsmanlike, or truly harmful, it’s always okay to report it. The safety of horses and humans comes first.
But here’s a good gut check before you go full tattle-tale:
- Is this hurting anyone?
- Is it a danger to horse or rider?
- Is it your place to address it or can the judge/steward/office handle it if needed?
- Are you reacting from concern… or from a little sprinkle of ego or judgment?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is assume good intent, offer quiet support, and let the professionals take care of enforcement.
What Events Are Really About
At the end of the day, horse shows and events are about:
✅ Personal milestones
✅ Growth over perfection
✅ Community, camaraderie, and connection
✅ Making memories with our horses
So let’s not be the reason someone leaves the show feeling embarrassed, discouraged, or unwelcome. Let’s be the high-five after a rough class, the “you’ve got this” in the warm-up, the “I love your horse!” in the barn aisle.
Because this world? It’s big enough for all of us.
Final Thought: Be the Rider You Needed
You know what they say: Be the rider you needed when you were just starting out. Or nervous. Or broke. Or on the “weird” horse. Or coming back after a hard season.
Let people enjoy their horses. Let them have fun. Let them make mistakes and learn. Let them jam to music on AirPods or talk to their horse before they go in the ring. You never know what that moment means to them.
And if they need help? Offer it. Kindly. Without judgment. That’s the kind of barn energy the world needs more of.
Have a story where someone showed you grace at a show—or where you wish they had? Drop it in the comments. Let’s celebrate the moments that make this sport better for everyone.
Silhouette Arabians 